Mixed Race Kids and Jesus

4 December 2022 (Part 2)

    I was born to parents of two different religious backgrounds and grew up learning many different belief systems from both sides of the family. Consequently, you can imagine this often muddled up my life philosophies and personal beliefs quite a bit. To confuse my readers even more, I spent my teenage years being a member of the Boys' Brigade (Uniformed Group very much rooted in Christianity) for extra-curricular activities. From childhood to even the adult years before being saved, my spirit felt like it was being forcefully stretched out by horses tied to me by rope and running in different (religious) directions.

Our whole lives, children that come from inter-faith marriages and relationships face, in a sense, twice the risk of persecution by family members and friends. 

    Families who are strongly united in religion tend to also be united in their views, including their stance on other religions, but my mother and father came from two completely different worlds/cultures that tend to have very polarising and different views on one member's "apostasy", or deviating and renouncing their way of life as dictated by their god(s).

    Many families and even countries in this day and age would even try to misrepresent this exit from their religion as blasphemy. They consider it perhaps the greatest sin to commit, a crime punishable by death in some parts of the world. Your family may even go so far as to hate you. At best, they may attempt to send you to religious schools or to speak to spiritual leaders in order to correct and rehabilitate you. They may isolate you and your branch of the family; your parents, siblings and future children.

    At worst, they will even actively attempt to do harm to you, sometimes with devastating impact on your lives. Some families have a strong enough bond that they will unconditionally love you no matter what faith you live your life by, respecting your freedom of conscience and religion. 

    I had not realised it until this trip, but God had blessed me with a family that fits this description. We may have our petty squabbles, and fights between siblings may get bad, but at the very end of the day, we stand by each other. For that, I offer our Lord all my love and praise. If it is within His will, may these loved ones join us in His spiritual kingdom and channel the Holy Spirit in blessing all who are around them. The apostle Paul and Silas, when they were imprisoned by the Romans, said it best to their jailer:

Acts 16:31 NLT

"They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, along with everyone in your household."" 

Acts 16:32-34 NLT

"And they shared the word of the Lord with him and with all who lived in his household. Even at that hour of the night, the jailer cared for them and washed their wounds. Then he and everyone in his household were immediately baptized. He brought them into his house and set a meal before them, and he and his entire household rejoiced because they all believed in God."

Becoming a First-Generation Christian

4 December 2022 (Part 1)

1 Corinthians 8:5-6 ESV

"For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”— yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist."

Exodus 20:12 NLT

“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you."

    For as long as I can remember, I've been closest to my mother and maternal relatives. They are devout Buddhists, with my mother often chanting in sutras for hours and praying with her opened hands joined together (a Buddhist mudra). So you can imagine my hesitance to tell my mother, aunt, uncle and uncles-in-law of my recent decision to accept Jesus and convert to Christianity, back in October 2022. I harbour no shame in my heart for the God I love, praise and worship, yet declaring my faith so boldly in their faces had the potential to jeopardize my relationships with my family, something that has been near and dear to my heart for my whole life. They always will be, even as these relationships may be of the world.

    Yet, two nights ago on this vacation, my relatives casually revealed to me that they had known for months how I had been attending service in a church and integrating with a Christian community (thanks to my mother sharing of my adventures and whereabouts on the weekends). All of those weeks stressing out and formulating plans on how to tell them, and they nonchalantly drop this bomb on me, that they had known all along. Not necessarily that I had become a Christian, but at the very least that I was drawing closer to our God and was well on the path to living like one. In a hotel room, of all places. There was a World Cup 2022 match being broadcast on the huge TV in the midst of our nighttime conversations.

    They teased that they no longer knew whether I was a Buddhist, a Christian, or something else, given the whirlwind of religions I grew up in as a mixed child. They were snickering beneath every other comment made, as if to say they did not believe I was convicted enough to stay on this path and devote my life to serving the church, bringing gladness to our Heavenly Father's heart. However, at the very least, I sensed no animosity towards me for keeping these secrets, no judgement for deviating from the path followed by all the generations of our family that came before me. And that was strangely liberating.

     Perhaps some would admonish me for not being firmer in my beliefs, for holding on to my fear and allowing it to keep me from publicly declaring myself as a follower of Jesus. All I will say is that these are struggles only people born and raised in a traditional family in a multi-ethnic society like Singapore would be able to fully relate to, and that the social or even legal consequences of leaving your family's religion assigned to you from your youth are very real, particularly when traveling to other countries with official state religions. In spite of all of this, however, I will continue to seek God and hope to one day learn how to surrender these earthly fears of mine and indeed, lift my entire family into His hands, praying that they may one day know Him for themselves.

    Rather than focus on their skepticism and reacting in anger, I saw their passive acceptance and relaxed approach to the subject as a sign from our Saviour that, through this tiny chip in the armour of their hearts, the Holy Spirit would guide me in my good works and sharing the gospel with them, gradually opening those hearts, that they might one day receive Jesus. Only then will we be a family in perfect unity and union with Christ.

Living WITH Fear, or Living UNDER It?

3 December 2022 (Part 2)

    And so came my aunt's request in the afternoon. As the only young adult on my mother's side of the family, I alone was in the unique position to accompany the 3 little girl cousins to queue for and sit on the rides in Genting Highland's famous indoor theme park, Skytropolis. I was the only other family member able to take the rides relatively free of health risks, while providing adult supervision because Genting is, after all, a world-famous tourist hotspot constantly bursting with human traffic.

    I was shaken by my newly rediscovered fear of heights (or more specifically, being dropped from them at breakneck speeds), triggered by the cable car experience earlier in the day. Where was the fun-loving, thrill-seeking spirit I so easily embraced in my youth? Had my daredevil days flashed by me, gone before I had even realized? What a tragic thing to discover about yourself.

    Even the first ride we had taken, the very traditional Sky Towers (vertical drop tower) attraction made me question all my life decisions up until that point as it flung us up and down not once, but several times, and from different heights. I almost departed with my lunch, but then I remembered how expensive the food there could be. So I held it in. I remember asking myself over and over whether torturing myself like this for an entire day was worth it, whether there was an uncle or aunt I could beg and plead to take over my role after another ride or two. I asked myself, "Why me? I know this is giving them precious childhood memories, but why am I the only one being tested like this?"

Revelation 21:8 NIV

"But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

      Halfway into our "fun"-filled afternoon, while bonding with my cousins over small talk and "who screamed the loudest on the last ride" as we waited in lines, I cursed myself for my own perceived weakness. The fearful will not inherit God's kingdom. I wanted to set an example for my young cousins, not to let them see me scared, not to be overcome by fear. But did I really have to get on the roller coaster as an answer to the fearfulness being condemned in Revelation 21:8?

2 Timothy 1:7 NLT  

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

  God started to connect the dots for me. It is very different to fear specific things, as compared to living a life dominated by fear. The first instance is nothing to be ashamed of. Even Moses feared the Egyptians and the king's wrath when he left Egypt (Exodus 2:14-15). He felt fear, same as anyone else. It takes different shapes and forms, but fear is a demon that exists within every human being. But for a Christian, the fear of God and the desire to obey Him is greater. In the challenges and fears you experience every day, you may look to God and pray for courage, for the strength to overcome and not be overcome. In my case, I was burdened with the duty of building the trust and mutual love with my cousins that would allow me to start bringing them to church, to share God's word and spiritual family with them.

    But when you regularly give in to your fears, you lead a life ruled by them. You continuously turn away from God. With every battle in your heart that you lose to fear, the list of sins and things to be ashamed of just grows longer and longer. Cowardice becomes a characteristic of your life, and you are in bondage to fear.

     Remember what they say about life being like a roller coaster? In the context of being a follower of Jesus Christ, this old adage takes on even deeper and more spiritually significant meaning. Yes, there are absolute highs in life. Mountainous peaks, even. Then you experience jerks and very sudden drops with no prior warning, no brakes to slam, no way to decelerate on your way down. All you can do is raise your hands and surrender.

    Life also has the deepest, most difficult valleys. This part of the ride, along with the climb back up, can seem excruciatingly slow. It is full of suspense, maybe even dread. Yet you just know you have to press on in order to reach the next high point in your life. You don't know when it will happen, or even if you will ever climb back up again. You weren't the one who designed the ride. Again, you can only surrender your fears and anxieties to our Heavenly Father.

    Let your faith overcome your fear. Walk by faith and not by sight. Ride out the journey God has planned for you. Reflect on the ups and downs. Though circumstances may at times be shaky and less than ideal, know that the ride does end, and that you will be standing on solid ground again. Trust the Lord to be your firm foundation.

    I end this devotional with the opening line of one of my favourite worship choruses:

"I'm no longer a slave to fear... I am a child of God".

Why I Would Not Survive As Spider-Man

3 December 2022 (Part 1)

    What I expected to be a relaxing and completely stress-free start to my 2-day holiday in Genting ended up testing me in very unexpected ways today. After a relatively chill breakfast at a cafe within Resorts World Awana (where my family stayed), my mother decided to bring the 3 little cousins, their father, and their helper Mary for a cable car round trip. The Awana Skyway gondola lift system was one that I was not familiar with, having only sat in the cable cars for the older, now-backup Genting Skyway route in the past. I was curious, and did not want to waste the extra ride coupon the hotel had given us, so I thought nothing of tagging along when asked to join.

    Acrophobia is a very real monster that plagues children and adults alike, dear readers.

 Why It Was Unexpected

    Before I continue my recount of this incident, please allow me this vain yet very relevant attempt to vindicate myself of being called a chicken (consider yourself warned).

    I'd had no major gripes or issues sitting on amusement park rides like roller coasters before. My most notable achievement came from conquering "The Claw" in Dreamworld Gold Coast, back in 2016 on a polytechnic graduation trip to Australia. This pendulum of death was a Gyro Swing that swung you and up to 31 other strangers to a maximum height of 27.15m (or about 8 stories), at speeds of up to 75 km/h. All while spinning you at 360 degrees in the air.

 

    Truly a machine of nightmares that would make you scream, "Why, Jesus, why?" for 1.5 minutes, although given that I had not been saved back then, my train of thought was probably closer to something like "If I die up there, at least it will be a shorter trip to heaven!". For some strange reason, I was more exhilarated than afraid during the whole experience. I definitely became disoriented and came uncomfortably close to losing control of my own bowels a handful of times, but I was a braver and more reckless young man who had nothing to lose. So I coped by screaming with false bravado, then leaning and swaying with the momentum of the swing to counteract the fear threatening to overtake my body and mind completely. I surrendered to the moment and experience completely and in doing so, chose to overcome my fears.

    The 8-to-10 year-old Caucasian boy seated next to me was dead silent during the whole ordeal, and I did not have the courage nor mental capacity to turn to look at him. So I figured that he was even more terrified than me, to the point of being shocked into silence or even fainting without others realising. Either that or he was trained by his parents to fight grizzly bears since young and had the fortitude of an iron wall, and this 20-year-old kor kor sitting next to him was just embarrassing himself by freaking out over a ride so "trivial". Nevertheless, I believe it is safe to say I left that theme park with no significant or lasting mental scars, and went on to sit on many more rides in the years to come.

Back To The.. Present

    Given my track record with rides at a height, I boarded the glass gondola lift on Awana Skyway with my family expecting a pleasant ride with opportunities abound to take photos of the sights during the trip, including lush forests, cool mountainsides and the ever-impressive Chin Wee Caves Temple. Instead, what I received were snapshots of the terror on my face as the lift accelerated and decelerated at surprising speeds near every station we passed through, constantly having one or both sweaty hands desperately gripping the railings and never daring to lean fully back onto the seats (which had an ever-so-tiny opening below them, just large enough for a phone to fall through). The fear in my heart was expressed very clearly, courtesy of the exceptional camera quality of an elated mother sadistically giggling at her son's first cable car experience in years, which seemed to last for precisely that amount of time.

Small Miracles, Big Faith (Part 2)

2 December 2022

Romans 1:20 (NLT)

“For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.”

    It’s absolutely mind-blowing that the same Creator of the universe, who hears billions of prayers and pleas every day, is still capable and so willing in gifting miracles that feel so personalised for each of us. In fact, it’s the miracles granted in the “minor” areas of our lives that speak the most to our individual hearts. It often filled my head that it is selfish to “bother” God with trivial matters such as misplacing my laptop, securing a table without booking at a restaurant for the best atmosphere for the CG and even good weather.

    But God is present in every detail. He’s never too busy to listen to us, to guide us, because our Lord not only knows us by name, He knows every detail of ours down to the number of hairs on our head. He cares for every aspect of our lives, big or small.

    It’s encounters like these that enable to me attribute to God what I used to accredit to my own efforts, luck, or even the miracles and blessings that I was too hard-hearted to notice. He is not a God of limitations on His love, but one that we should invite to be present in every situation, every decision we make.

    The more we trust God to handle in our lives, the more such works and miracles we will be able to witness, and all these seemingly small occurrences accumulate over time to lay the foundation for a faith so strong that it will move mountains, see the sick made well and ultimately, empower us to lift His name above all the rest 🙌

1 Peter 5:7 NLT

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”

    If our seemingly “mundane” requests can sow within our hearts the seeds for such strong faith, imagine how unwavering yours will be when God has seen you brave the trials and challenges you may be facing in your own life? At the end of it all, how big will our God be within the nuances of your story?

No Miracle Too Small (Part 1)

2 December 2022

Matthew 7:9-11 NLT

“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”

    Today I am reminded that no miracle is too small (nor too big) to ask of our Heavenly Father.

    My uncle and I had to enter Malaysia half a day later than the rest of our family, who were already in Genting, for our family vacation. I was just coming from my final exam of the year, he from a tiring day shift at work. He drove while I provided “moral support” with my Spotify playlists and casual conversational skills. We had an estimated 5-6 hour journey ahead of us.

    The usual Friday night jam at customs, the usual long and winding roads. Then came one particular highway.

    It was pitch-black, there was an endless stream of cars in front of us as well as on the opposite side of the road going the other way. You could barely tell if any distant glow you saw in the darkness was another car or street lights until you were right on top of it. It started raining, not even a gentle drizzle but quite a heavy downpour. Our already limited visibility got shortened to barely a few metres ahead of us. My uncle, pessimistic as he is, was cursing and complaining about how this would make it even harder to see the road and slow us down significantly.

    For some unexplainable reason, my first instinct was to pray literally mid-conversation with him. Prayed for the path to be clear, for the rain to cease and for the journey to be time-efficient. Not just for the two of us, but all the other motorists on the highway. The prayer lasted barely 1.5 minutes.

    I couldn’t believe what happened next. Mere seconds after the usual thanksgiving and saying “amen”, the raindrops stopped appearing on our windshield. It never rained on us again for the entire night.