Living WITH Fear, or Living UNDER It?

3 December 2022 (Part 2)

    And so came my aunt's request in the afternoon. As the only young adult on my mother's side of the family, I alone was in the unique position to accompany the 3 little girl cousins to queue for and sit on the rides in Genting Highland's famous indoor theme park, Skytropolis. I was the only other family member able to take the rides relatively free of health risks, while providing adult supervision because Genting is, after all, a world-famous tourist hotspot constantly bursting with human traffic.

    I was shaken by my newly rediscovered fear of heights (or more specifically, being dropped from them at breakneck speeds), triggered by the cable car experience earlier in the day. Where was the fun-loving, thrill-seeking spirit I so easily embraced in my youth? Had my daredevil days flashed by me, gone before I had even realized? What a tragic thing to discover about yourself.

    Even the first ride we had taken, the very traditional Sky Towers (vertical drop tower) attraction made me question all my life decisions up until that point as it flung us up and down not once, but several times, and from different heights. I almost departed with my lunch, but then I remembered how expensive the food there could be. So I held it in. I remember asking myself over and over whether torturing myself like this for an entire day was worth it, whether there was an uncle or aunt I could beg and plead to take over my role after another ride or two. I asked myself, "Why me? I know this is giving them precious childhood memories, but why am I the only one being tested like this?"

Revelation 21:8 NIV

"But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

      Halfway into our "fun"-filled afternoon, while bonding with my cousins over small talk and "who screamed the loudest on the last ride" as we waited in lines, I cursed myself for my own perceived weakness. The fearful will not inherit God's kingdom. I wanted to set an example for my young cousins, not to let them see me scared, not to be overcome by fear. But did I really have to get on the roller coaster as an answer to the fearfulness being condemned in Revelation 21:8?

2 Timothy 1:7 NLT  

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."

  God started to connect the dots for me. It is very different to fear specific things, as compared to living a life dominated by fear. The first instance is nothing to be ashamed of. Even Moses feared the Egyptians and the king's wrath when he left Egypt (Exodus 2:14-15). He felt fear, same as anyone else. It takes different shapes and forms, but fear is a demon that exists within every human being. But for a Christian, the fear of God and the desire to obey Him is greater. In the challenges and fears you experience every day, you may look to God and pray for courage, for the strength to overcome and not be overcome. In my case, I was burdened with the duty of building the trust and mutual love with my cousins that would allow me to start bringing them to church, to share God's word and spiritual family with them.

    But when you regularly give in to your fears, you lead a life ruled by them. You continuously turn away from God. With every battle in your heart that you lose to fear, the list of sins and things to be ashamed of just grows longer and longer. Cowardice becomes a characteristic of your life, and you are in bondage to fear.

     Remember what they say about life being like a roller coaster? In the context of being a follower of Jesus Christ, this old adage takes on even deeper and more spiritually significant meaning. Yes, there are absolute highs in life. Mountainous peaks, even. Then you experience jerks and very sudden drops with no prior warning, no brakes to slam, no way to decelerate on your way down. All you can do is raise your hands and surrender.

    Life also has the deepest, most difficult valleys. This part of the ride, along with the climb back up, can seem excruciatingly slow. It is full of suspense, maybe even dread. Yet you just know you have to press on in order to reach the next high point in your life. You don't know when it will happen, or even if you will ever climb back up again. You weren't the one who designed the ride. Again, you can only surrender your fears and anxieties to our Heavenly Father.

    Let your faith overcome your fear. Walk by faith and not by sight. Ride out the journey God has planned for you. Reflect on the ups and downs. Though circumstances may at times be shaky and less than ideal, know that the ride does end, and that you will be standing on solid ground again. Trust the Lord to be your firm foundation.

    I end this devotional with the opening line of one of my favourite worship choruses:

"I'm no longer a slave to fear... I am a child of God".