4 December 2022 (Part 1)
1 Corinthians 8:5-6 ESV
"For although there may be so-called gods in heaven or on earth—as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”— yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist."
Exodus 20:12 NLT
“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you."
For as long as I can remember, I've been closest to my mother and maternal relatives. They are devout Buddhists, with my mother often chanting in sutras for hours and praying with her opened hands joined together (a Buddhist mudra). So you can imagine my hesitance to tell my mother, aunt, uncle and uncles-in-law of my recent decision to accept Jesus and convert to Christianity, back in October 2022. I harbour no shame in my heart for the God I love, praise and worship, yet declaring my faith so boldly in their faces had the potential to jeopardize my relationships with my family, something that has been near and dear to my heart for my whole life. They always will be, even as these relationships may be of the world.
Yet, two nights ago on this vacation, my relatives casually revealed to me that they had known for months how I had been attending service in a church and integrating with a Christian community (thanks to my mother sharing of my adventures and whereabouts on the weekends). All of those weeks stressing out and formulating plans on how to tell them, and they nonchalantly drop this bomb on me, that they had known all along. Not necessarily that I had become a Christian, but at the very least that I was drawing closer to our God and was well on the path to living like one. In a hotel room, of all places. There was a World Cup 2022 match being broadcast on the huge TV in the midst of our nighttime conversations.
They teased that they no longer knew whether I was a Buddhist, a Christian, or something else, given the whirlwind of religions I grew up in as a mixed child. They were snickering beneath every other comment made, as if to say they did not believe I was convicted enough to stay on this path and devote my life to serving the church, bringing gladness to our Heavenly Father's heart. However, at the very least, I sensed no animosity towards me for keeping these secrets, no judgement for deviating from the path followed by all the generations of our family that came before me. And that was strangely liberating.
Perhaps some would admonish me for not being firmer in my beliefs, for holding on to my fear and allowing it to keep me from publicly declaring myself as a follower of Jesus. All I will say is that these are struggles only people born and raised in a traditional family in a multi-ethnic society like Singapore would be able to fully relate to, and that the social or even legal consequences of leaving your family's religion assigned to you from your youth are very real, particularly when traveling to other countries with official state religions. In spite of all of this, however, I will continue to seek God and hope to one day learn how to surrender these earthly fears of mine and indeed, lift my entire family into His hands, praying that they may one day know Him for themselves.
Rather than focus on their skepticism and reacting in anger, I saw their passive acceptance and relaxed approach to the subject as a sign from our Saviour that, through this tiny chip in the armour of their hearts, the Holy Spirit would guide me in my good works and sharing the gospel with them, gradually opening those hearts, that they might one day receive Jesus. Only then will we be a family in perfect unity and union with Christ.
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