Depending on God vs Confiding in Leaders (Don’t Trauma Dump!)
We can reach out to our leaders when:
- We’ve already poured our heart out to God, but the burden still feels overwhelming.
- We’re stuck in confusion or lies that we can’t unravel on our own.
- We need guidance for practical decisions tied to spiritual implications (e.g., school, family, work, dating).
- We notice unhealthy patterns (addiction, isolation, hopelessness) starting to resurface.
- We’re serving and giving to others but feel dangerously close to burnout.
One thing I realised is that sometimes, God prompts us to reach out because our testimony of struggle can strengthen their faith, too. BUT we must be responsible not to share with newer believers who are just starting out in their faith walk and are more impressionable.
The general rule of thumb has always been to leave every convo with both sides having been infused with faith, not fear or confusion. Spiritual vulnerability (with the right people) is how the Body grows.
To what extent do we share with leaders?
🕯️ God is our altar. We can pour out everything.
👣 People are companions. We invite them to walk parts of the road with us.
📌 When sharing with leaders…
- Focus on the core of the problem, not every branch.
- Share enough to explain where we are hurting and where we are stuck.
- Avoid spiraling into every past detail unless they ask for context.
- Be clear on what we need: “I’m not expecting you to fix everything — I just need prayer, guidance, or a listening ear.”
This shows maturity, clarity, and spiritual boundaries.
We don’t need to flood our leaders — we just need to let them in. They won’t get overwhelmed by our burdens if they are being carried with God’s help.
One sentence like:
“I’m working through some heavy things with God, but I think I need some practical guidance and prayer too. Could I talk to you when there’s time?”
Some battlefields, God will send us out to fight on alone. But we must be vigilant that we’re not doing it out of a spirit of pride or stubbornness.
At the end of the day, God wants us to love each other, encourage each other, keep each other accountable. The longer we try to walk it alone, the harder it gets. Life has a tendency to grow heavy sometimes.
Men will try to go as far as they can by themselves. But we need each other, and God gives us strength when we stand together. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, 1 Corinthians 12:12-27, Ephesians 4:16, Hebrews 10:24-25).
That being said, always choose to drink living water from the well that never runs dry! (John 14:4, John 7:38). He is our first and primary source of joy, comfort, healing, provision and eternal purpose.
Prayer:
Lord, You are my First, my Anchor, my Shepherd. I want to honour You by running to You first. But I also want to honour You by receiving help when You send it through others, because it is Your Spirit that speaks through them.
Give me wisdom to know when to reach out, and courage to share just enough to let others walk with me. Help me guard against dependence on people, but also protect me from prideful isolation.
You place the lonely in families — and I want to live in that family well.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
